Reading

(no subject)

Dear Annie: I met my husband three years ago, about eight months after he lost his first wife of 20 years. Their marriage was often toxic, and she was very abusive toward him. After she passed, he was ready to move on.

Right away, I knew something wasn't right with my husband. In his mid-50s, he was having short-term memory issues, falling frequently and struggling with his mental health. After seeing his health care provider and enrolling in the Veterans Affairs health care system, we discovered he had suffered multiple traumatic brain injuries during his time in the Army. That diagnosis led to him becoming a 100% service-connected disabled veteran and allowed him to receive the care he needed for a better quality of life.

His family, however, waged a war against me for helping him, accusing me of manipulating and "brainwashing" him. My husband has distanced himself from them, and we're no longer on speaking terms. My husband has a lot of anger toward them as he suffered for decades without their help or support.

His parents, who live in another state, are elderly and in poor health. I fear that if he doesn't reconcile with them before they pass, he will resent me. I love my husband with all my heart, and this has been a hard road. I just want the very best for him, unconditionally. Any advice? -- Wife on the Defensive

( Read more... )

(no subject)

DEAR ABBY: My daughter, "Violet," lives about two hours away. She and her mother (my wife) do not get along. Violet was always a rebellious, independent wild child, as well as the source of a lot of family problems. Violet and I also were estranged until we recently reconciled.

Yesterday, she sent me an email inviting me to lunch to celebrate my birthday. When I told my wife about the invitation, she responded, "Do what you want" in a tone and with a facial expression which said: "Go ahead, but if you do, you'll be sorry."

I have tried to reconcile these two women I love without success. My wife tells me she loves Violet but doesn't like her, although she would like to have a better relationship with her. Violet tells me she blames her mother for her PTSD (her unofficial diagnosis) and wants nothing to do with her.

So do I go to lunch with my daughter and incur the wrath of my wife for what she would consider a betrayal, or do I decline the invitation from my daughter and risk alienating her again? -- IN THE MIDDLE IN NEW JERSEY

( Read more... )

Entry tags:

into the void

Into the void

I write things down and I still forget! News and Views one day late.

1. I survived the dentist yesterday. They recommend a water pik, which I am not a fan of. The x rays which can make me cry and gag were only 4 total (2 on each side) and I endured without too much hardship.
2. My favorite challenge of the year is open for sign ups: Spook Me [https://spook-me.dreamwidth.org/22878.html]. I requested both of the new monsters: Raven and Graveyard. I am toying with the idea of doing an Ice Road Truckers AU (maybe BBC Sherlock).
3. I made my own chicken tenders for dinner Saturday and the boys ate them. Win for mom!
4. Minor is selling those chocolate bars for chorus fundraising. They are $2 now! Inflation!
5. I decided I was sick of my cleaning campaign so I cleaned the kitchen and front entrance at 830 pm last night just to be done with it for the month. The odd scheduling threw the boys' father off and he didn't do 2 of his usual tasks. It's funny how we are creatures of habit. I totally threw him off. He was a mess last night. He only took out half the trash and didn't turn on the dishwasher. Maybe to someone else it doesn't sound like a lot but to our household it was weird.
6. Yoga with Adriene dropped a new video today, and I am going to do it. This is the first time I've done a video the same day it dropped.
7. Drabble ficathon is going on here: https://drabbleonficathon.dreamwidth.org/1672.html
Worderlands prompt table is here: https://worderlands.dreamwidth.org/16761.html
Next month, I might go back to Kinktober. It's been a while. https://www.tumblr.com/kinktober-2025.
And there's always Whumptober: https://whumptober.tumblr.com/
8. Listening to Miles Davis autobiography (heroin is a helluva drug) and Rebus #21 and I just got the Inspector Chopra #1 and the second in the Judge Dee series. Lots of mystery!

2025 RPF Coordination Post

Posted by morbane

https://yuletide-admin.livejournal.com/294385.html

There's a new post up on the Yuletide Admin comm regarding 2025 RPF Coordination Post. Please note that there may have been a delay between that post and this crosspost.

You can go through to DW to check the details:

Dreamwidth Post

If you have follow-up questions, they can be asked in the DW comment section using a DW login, OpenID with another login, or a signed anonymous comment.

https://yuletide-admin.livejournal.com/294385.html

Entry tags:

Wednesday went for a walk in the rain

What I read

Finished Love at All Ages - think I said most of what I felt moved to say last week, but there was also a certain amount of Mrs Morland whingeing and bitching about the Burdens of Being a Popular Writer (when she wasn't being Amazingly Dotty), whoa, Ange, biting the hand or what?

Sarah Brooks, The Cautious Traveller's Guide to the Wastelands (2024), which I picked up some while ago on promotion and then I think I saw someone writing something about it. I liked the idea but somehow wasn't overwhelmingly enthused?

Read the latest Literary Review.

Since there is a forthcoming online discussion, dug out my 1974 mass market paperback edition of Joanna Russ, The Female Man - I think this was even before excursions to Dark They Were and Golden-Eyed, somehow I had learnt of Fantast, a mailorder operation with duplicated catalogues every few months that purveyed an odd selection of US books. It's quite hard to recall the original impact. Possibly I now prefer her essays?

Carol Atherton, Reading Lessons: The Books We Read at School, the Conversations They Spark, and Why They Matter (2024) - EngLit teacher meditates over books that she had taught, her own reading of them, their impact in the classroom, general issues around teaching Lit, etc - this came up in my Recommended for You in Kobo + on promotion. Quite interesting but how the teaching of EngLit has changed since My Day....

Lee Child, The Hard Way (Jack Reacher, #10) (2006) - every so often I read an interview with or something about Lee Child who sounds very much a Good Guy so I thought I might try one of these and this one was currently on promotion. It's less action and more twisty following intricate plot than I anticipated with lots of sudden reversal, and lots and lots of details. I don't think I'm going to go away and devour all the Reacher books but I can think of circumstances where they might be a preferable option given limited reading materials available.

On the go

I literally just finished that so there is nothing on the go, except one or two things I suppose I am technically still reading.

Up next

Dunno.

Current Music: David Byrne & Ghost Train Orchestra, "Everybody Laughs"

Every song we sing and every kind of place

It is my fifteenth anniversary with

rushthatspeaks and I am spending it with various doctors instead of my husband and our traditional restaurant. We had a better wedding the last plague year.

(no subject)

Dear Eric: My beloved husband of more than 40 years has become something of an embarrassment. He has always been careful with his appearance (almost in the vain category). About six years ago, he had a serious illness with dangerous surgery but made an excellent recovery.

Afterward, his weight loss became a weight gain and now, instead of the athletic physique he has always maintained, he has a large gut. He will wear T-shirts that are too small and when seated, part of his naked middle is exposed for all to see.

I can tolerate this at home, but not when we are around other people. I have tried gentle reminders that these shirts are too small, mentioning how embarrassed I am, but it makes no difference. He also wears ill-fitting pants in his former waist size which exaggerate the problem.

Otherwise, he keeps up his lengthy morning regime of careful grooming as in the past. His doctors have suggested he lose weight, but nothing has changed. Can you offer any advice so we can socialize without me cringing?

– Loving But Mortified

( Read more... )

Entry tags:

wed 2025

Write Every Day September 2025 - Day 10

Quote of the Day:

Faulkner wrote As I Lay Dying in six weeks; he claimed he knocked it off in his spare time from a twelve-hour-a-day job performing manual labor. There are other examples from other continents and centuries, just as albinos, assassins, saints, big people and little people show up from time to time in large populations. Out of a human population on earth of four and a half billion, perhaps twenty people can write a serious book in a year. Some people lift cars, too. Some people enter week-long sled-dog races, go over Niagra Falls in barrels, fly planes through the Arc de Triomphe. Some people feel no pain in childbirth. Some people eat cars. There is no call to take human extremes as norms.

— Annie Dillard, The Writing Life (1989)

Today's Writing:

I wrote 714 words, using yesterday's method, with equally good results!

Tally

( Days 1-8 )

Day 9:

badly_knitted,

brithistorian,

carenejeans,

cornerofmadness,

goddess47,

sanguinity,

sylvanwitch,

trobadora

Let me know if I missed you, or if you wrote but didn't check in yet. And remember, you can join in at any time!

Yuletide 2025 Evidence Post

Posted by morbane

https://yuletide-admin.livejournal.com/294139.html

There's a new post up on the Yuletide Admin comm regarding Yuletide 2025 Evidence Post. Please note that there may have been a delay between that post and this crosspost.

You can go through to DW to check the details:

Dreamwidth Post

If you have follow-up questions, they can be asked in the DW comment section using a DW login, OpenID with another login, or a signed anonymous comment.

https://yuletide-admin.livejournal.com/294139.html

(no subject)

Happy birthday,

major_clanger!

Entry tags:

fanfic:murderbot

Murderbot fic: Crime and Punishment

DW catchup continues ... I posted this on AO3 yesterday, and I wrote most of this fic in the car, actually, on the 7-hour drive home from my mom's part of Alaska. I would drive for a while and think of a new section of fic and stop to write a bit on my laptop.

Crime and Punishment (Murderbot books, Mensah POV, 2500 words)
Missing scene/tag for Fugitive Telemetry. Mensah gets a call from station security. (Entirely bookverse.)

Follow-up on

Spoilers for Fugitive Telemetry

the refugee shooting Murderbot in the novella.

Mostly fluff and banter, in spite of the actual topic.

( Fic under the cut )

FFFX 2025

placeholder

Entry tags:

wed 2025

Write Every Day September 2025 - Day 9

Quote of the Day:

"Before you become a writer you must first become a reader. Every hour spent reading is an hour spent learning to write."

— Robert Macfarlane, Landmarks (2015)

Today's Writing:

I sat down and wrote 431 words, free-writing, mostly complaining, expecting nothing much. But it actually produced something useful. ~~Maybe I should just complain more.~~ Writing is so weird.

Tally

( Days 1-7 )

Day 8:

badly_knitted,

brithistorian,

carenejeans,

china_shop,

cornerofmadness,

goddess47,

sanguinity,

sylvanwitch,

the_siobhan,

trobadora,

yasaman,

ysilme

Let me know if I missed you, or if you wrote but didn't check in yet. And remember, you can join in at any time!

Entry tags:

Georgians (as in, dynastic period, not poetry)

For some reason, concatenation of open tabs on this theme.

Sociability was intrinsic to British politics in the eighteenth-century:

Although women were prevented by custom from voting, holding most patronage appointments or taking seats in the Lords (even if they were peeresses in their own rights), politics ran through the lives of women from politically active families — and their political activities largely took place through the social arena, whether it was in London or in the provinces. Like their male counterparts, they used social situations to gather and disseminate political news and gossip, discuss men and measures, facilitate networking and build or maintain factional allegiances, or seek patronage for themselves or their clients.

***

This Is What Being in Your Twenties Was Like in 18th-Century London:

Browne wrote that he needed money to pay rent—and to purchase stockings, breeches, wigs and other items he deemed necessary for his life in London. “Cloaths which [I] have now are but mean in Comparison [with] what they wear here,” he wrote in one letter.
Financial worries didn’t stop Browne from enjoying his time in the city. “Despite telling his father how short of cash he was, Browne maintained a lively social life, meeting friends and eating and drinking around Fleet Street, close to the Inns of Court,” per the Guardian.
According to the National Trust, Browne’s descriptions of his social life evoke the scenes captured by William Hogarth.

***

The Friendship Book of Anne Wagner (1795-1834):

What is a friendship book? As Dr Lynley Anne Herbert relates in her post for us on a seventeenth-century specimen, it is a lot like an early version of social media, a place to record friendships and social connections.

***

This one is actually Victorian (and I think I may have mentioned before?): Peter McLagan (1823-1900): Scotland’s first Black MP - notes that he was not even the first Black MP to sit in the Commons.

***

And this is actually a bit random: apparently the Niels Bohr Library & Archives 'is a repository and hub for information in the history of physics, astronomy, geophysics, and allied fields' rather than exclusively Bohring. Anyway, an interview with the staff there about what they do.

(no subject)

Happy birthday,

a_c_fiorucci,

ruric,

veejane and

vehemently!

Current Music: Neko Case, "Wreck"

A wreck of possibilities, a volatility of stars

I wish merely to register my pleasure that when I went looking for the uncredited actor playing the dean of the law school in the early scenes of Winterset (1936), I found that Murray Kinnell had the kind of Wikipedia biographer who includes short reviews with their subject's stage and screen resume. "An unusual role for Kinnell as a derelict one-time gentleman; the film opened in July 1931." "'No man is a hero to his valet', as Kinnell's character in this murder mystery could testify." "Kinnell as yet another butler, though this time with an unexpected flourish." I am much more used to finding this kind of partisanship on social media: with no prior attachment to an actor whom I did not notice previously in a handful of pre-Codes, just its enthusiasm makes me want to see these lovingly noted small parts even when a non-zero quantity of Charlie Chan seems to be involved. I hope Kinnell would have appreciated his future, however microscopic fandom.

Entry tags:

books

Weekend reading pt. 2

Finished Bibliophobia by Sarah Chihaya, a memoir about her relationship to books and the ways this has intertwined with her lifelong mental health struggles, leading up to a nervous breakdown triggered by an inability to write her dissertation and resulting in a period where she was literally unable to read anything, which she names "bibliophobia." Each chapter structured around a different piece of writing of some personal significance: the Anne of Green Gables books, Toni Morrison's The Bluest Eye, A.S. Byatt's Possession, Anne Carson's poem "The Glass Essay", Ruth Ozeki's A Tale for the Time Being, Child Ballad 78 ("The Unquiet Grave"), Helen DeWitt's The Last Samurai. Most of Chihaya's "framework" books(/poems) were ones I haven't read (yet— I've put holds on The Bluest Eye and Possession, both of which I've long vaguely intended to get around to reading), which was an incidental aspect of this that I actually really liked— less, I don't know, distracting? than if she'd been writing about books I personally had a strong connection to...? Interesting to read a book about the things we seek from books - salvation or explanations or distraction or whatever - because the chance of a mental ouroboros (seeking xyz from a book about seeking xyz from books) is high to inevitable.

Entry tags:

wed 2025

Write Every Day September 2025 - Day 8

Quote of the Day:

"Notes aren’t a record of my thinking process. They are my thinking process."

--Richard Feynman, from an anecdote in Genius: The Life and Science of Richard Feynman, by James Gleick (1992)

Today's Writing:

A lot of staring a the screen, and an alibi sentence. 8-/

Tally

( Days 1-6 )

Day 7:

badly_knitted,

brithistorian,

carenejeans,

china_shop,

cornerofmadness,

goddess47,

sanguinity,

sylvanwitch,

trobadora,

yasaman,

ysilme

Day 8:

china_shop

Let me know if I missed you, or if you wrote but didn't check in yet. And remember, you can join in at any time!

Yuletide 2025 Sticky Post

Posted by morbane

https://yuletide-admin.livejournal.com/293736.html

There's a new post up on the Yuletide Admin comm regarding Yuletide 2025 Sticky Post. Please note that there may have been a delay between that post and this crosspost.

You can go through to DW to check the details:

Dreamwidth Post

If you have follow-up questions, they can be asked in the DW comment section using a DW login, OpenID with another login, or a signed anonymous comment.

https://yuletide-admin.livejournal.com/293736.html

Current Music: Jack, "Love and Death in the Afternoon"

In my time on earth, I said too much, but not nearly, not nearly enough

Unless I lost track of one in the phone tree, I have just spent my afternoon calling five different doctor's offices, garnished with one bookstore and one library, and I would still like a refund on selected and considerable tracts of physical existence. In other news, while I have always had an inevitable affection for the mild-mannered character acting of Donald Meek, I have not seen him anywhere near recently enough to explain his appearance in last night's dreams, especially not the one with the used book store crumbling literally on the edge of some awful revelation. Over the last three days, I mainlined a rewatch of the first two seasons of Turn: Washington's Spies (2014–17) and just before bed had started re-reading Paul French's Midnight in Peking (2011), which in the years since I originally read and much later wrote about it has garnered at least one nonfiction rebuttal and more contextually interested explorations, because nothing engages the human instinct for rabbit holes like a cold murder case. No offense to Donald Meek, I'm not sure where he came in.

P.S. Stop the presses, Benny Safdie and Dwayne Johnson will be adapting Daniel Pinkwater's Lizard Music (1976)? They had better get the Surrealism.