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The Hobbit: The Slew of Epic Battle Scenes
So, my knitting bud and I finally got to see the last Hobbit movie. Overall verdict: visually interesting, and Freeman's Bilbo was perfect, but it didn't grab us as a story.
Sundry comments from our post-movie discussion:
"Someone needs to tell Peter Jackson that when you have archers, you should *use* them."
"The only reason I can see for creating Alfrid is if Stephen Fry's schedule was too booked to be in enough scenes."
"'Because it was real' -- it's the Velveteen Dwarf!"
"Peter Jackson just doesn't get elves, does he? 'Living at a different timescale' doesn't mean 'wooden'!"
"Martin Freeman deserved a better movie."
"Okay, we're agreed -- if you're on the ice, and you see an orc under you? You get off the damn ice."
"Use the archers!"
"Really? A dozen dwarves made that big a difference in the final battle? *Really*?" "Well, to be fair, that's canon."
"Every time Bain appeared, I said to myself, 'It's okay, kid, you'll survive this; you don't die until the Battle of the Ring when you're slain fighting alongside Dain Ironfoot.' Now I finally remember that it's not Bain who's in that battle; it's Bain's son Brand. Still, he survives long enough to reproduce."
"So, we get all this talk about how the movie's going to show what Gandalf was doing in the background, and this was it? That's disappointing."
"Does Thranduil actually have a personality in the book?"
"Archers! You don't start with elven jack-in-the-boxes; you use archers to thin the enemy out a bit first!"
"After a while you have to ask yourself why anyone's asking Alfrid to do *anything*."
"Galadriel is not a capacitor."
"Where was the dialogue? Lots of choreography, but no dialogue."
"I can buy the wereworms; there's that bit in LOTR when Gandalf's returned where he talks about the nameless things that gnaw at the base of the earth. Of course, he says that even Sauron knows them not." "Well, clearly the orcs did."
"Use the f***ing archers!"
Sundry comments from our post-movie discussion:
"Someone needs to tell Peter Jackson that when you have archers, you should *use* them."
"The only reason I can see for creating Alfrid is if Stephen Fry's schedule was too booked to be in enough scenes."
"'Because it was real' -- it's the Velveteen Dwarf!"
"Peter Jackson just doesn't get elves, does he? 'Living at a different timescale' doesn't mean 'wooden'!"
"Martin Freeman deserved a better movie."
"Okay, we're agreed -- if you're on the ice, and you see an orc under you? You get off the damn ice."
"Use the archers!"
"Really? A dozen dwarves made that big a difference in the final battle? *Really*?" "Well, to be fair, that's canon."
"Every time Bain appeared, I said to myself, 'It's okay, kid, you'll survive this; you don't die until the Battle of the Ring when you're slain fighting alongside Dain Ironfoot.' Now I finally remember that it's not Bain who's in that battle; it's Bain's son Brand. Still, he survives long enough to reproduce."
"So, we get all this talk about how the movie's going to show what Gandalf was doing in the background, and this was it? That's disappointing."
"Does Thranduil actually have a personality in the book?"
"Archers! You don't start with elven jack-in-the-boxes; you use archers to thin the enemy out a bit first!"
"After a while you have to ask yourself why anyone's asking Alfrid to do *anything*."
"Galadriel is not a capacitor."
"Where was the dialogue? Lots of choreography, but no dialogue."
"I can buy the wereworms; there's that bit in LOTR when Gandalf's returned where he talks about the nameless things that gnaw at the base of the earth. Of course, he says that even Sauron knows them not." "Well, clearly the orcs did."
"Use the f***ing archers!"
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Thranduil practically doesn't have a personality in the book, except that he's said to be a bit too fond of precious things and jealous of elf lords who have more (presumably the battle elk is the Elven equivalent of a Porsche 928). But Bilbo decides to line up among his people for the battle on the basis that while he'd prefer not to die, he regards dying with Thranduil's people as the least worst option in the circumstances, given Thorin's thrown him out.
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The problem with elven mid-life crises is the number of ages of the world they last. (Now, there's a new way to look at the Silmarillion -- Feanor's mid-life crisis and the aftermath.)
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Yep, Thranduil may be a lesser elf-lord, but he's an elf nonetheless; good company to make a last stand with.
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Still chuckling over this. It doesn't need context. :P
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With you entirely on Alfred.
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