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castironResolutions for the coming twelve months:
1. I will refrain from hand-dyeing badgers.
2. I will beware the Ides of March.
3. I will not talk friends in the local folk dancing group into making a Lord of the Rings/Lord of the Dance crossover video.
4. I will not turn my house into an imitation Christo & Jeanne-Claude artwork.
5. I will not get involved in a land war in Asia.
6. There is no resolution #6.
7. I will not knit socks for any British actor.
8. I will not start a business selling Jeff Bezos voodoo dolls to publishing employees who work with metadata or ebooks.
9. The tie-dye t-shirt, loud flowered skirt, and striped socks are sufficient; I will not find a Madras plaid long-sleeved shirt to wear as a jacket with this ensemble.
10. I will avoid singing Great Big Sea covers on national television.
11. I will not write a Thomas the Tank Engine/Dinosaur Train crossover. Especially not one rated more than PG.
12. I will not write polemics on how Bag End is clearly the Teletubbies' bunker, meaning that the Tubbies are hobbits after several thousand years of evolution. (If it wasn't obvious when you watched Peter Jackson's movies, I won't be able to convince you.)
13. Garlic and semi-sweet chocolate: there may be a tasty dish that contains both, but I will not make the experiment this year.
14. I will not become fluent in any non-Indo-European language.
15. I will not run a nuclear power plant using iTunes.
16. I will not stop using the Oxford comma in my personal writings.
17. I will not drive through iffy neighborhoods with my windows rolled down while blasting 1970s Israeli pop tunes on my car stereo.
18. I will not write slash involving any pair of metadata standards.
19. I will not join a folk metal band.
20. That really disgusting thought regarding a particular character who routinely asks another character to do simple tasks for him? I will not post it to any of the fandom prompt sites, or indeed anywhere in public. Someone would write it, and I cannot face being responsible for that evil.
21. I will not build a steampunk lava lamp.
22. I will not run a campaign for my election to any major national office. This goes double for countries I am not a citizen of.
23. I will not thumb-wrestle a squid.
24. The project to combine the DNA of giardia and purple loosestrife is to be tabled indefinitely.
25. I will not ghostwrite my children's memoirs.
26. I will not sew a hot-air balloon in the shape of the silhouette of Jane Austen.
27. I will not divert the Mississippi River into my state.
28. Spinning polyester stuffing may be done once to see what happens, but sweater quantities are right out.
29. I will not catapult opossums.
30. I will not leave beets soaking in water in my fridge for a month until they turn moldy and then attempt to convince people that I am growing organs.
31. I will refrain from selling oddly-shaped crepes to Cthulu worshippers.
32. I will not translate any Elizabeth Gaskell novel into Quenya.
33. I will not have "Ash nazg durbatulûk" engraved on the inside of my wedding ring. (Though if I still have the ring from my first marriage somewhere....)
34. I will not acquire any endangered species as a household pet.
35. I will not Rickroll an ebook. (At least, not one published by my employer.)
36. I will not give up chocolate, unless allergy or other health issue makes it necessary.
37. I will not drink more than one gallon/four liters of ice tea in any one-hour period.
38. I will not learn to waterski while pulled along by a team of penguins.
39. I will not chop a hole through my office roof, place a giant rock on top of my desk, and claim that I was the victim of a meteor strike.
40. I will not get a tattoo of Chinese characters that say "I was not paid enough to make this tattoo."
41. Although the concept has been a running joke among several of my friends for years, I will not learn how to make a beef margarita.
1. I will refrain from hand-dyeing badgers.
2. I will beware the Ides of March.
3. I will not talk friends in the local folk dancing group into making a Lord of the Rings/Lord of the Dance crossover video.
4. I will not turn my house into an imitation Christo & Jeanne-Claude artwork.
5. I will not get involved in a land war in Asia.
6. There is no resolution #6.
7. I will not knit socks for any British actor.
8. I will not start a business selling Jeff Bezos voodoo dolls to publishing employees who work with metadata or ebooks.
9. The tie-dye t-shirt, loud flowered skirt, and striped socks are sufficient; I will not find a Madras plaid long-sleeved shirt to wear as a jacket with this ensemble.
10. I will avoid singing Great Big Sea covers on national television.
11. I will not write a Thomas the Tank Engine/Dinosaur Train crossover. Especially not one rated more than PG.
12. I will not write polemics on how Bag End is clearly the Teletubbies' bunker, meaning that the Tubbies are hobbits after several thousand years of evolution. (If it wasn't obvious when you watched Peter Jackson's movies, I won't be able to convince you.)
13. Garlic and semi-sweet chocolate: there may be a tasty dish that contains both, but I will not make the experiment this year.
14. I will not become fluent in any non-Indo-European language.
15. I will not run a nuclear power plant using iTunes.
16. I will not stop using the Oxford comma in my personal writings.
17. I will not drive through iffy neighborhoods with my windows rolled down while blasting 1970s Israeli pop tunes on my car stereo.
18. I will not write slash involving any pair of metadata standards.
19. I will not join a folk metal band.
20. That really disgusting thought regarding a particular character who routinely asks another character to do simple tasks for him? I will not post it to any of the fandom prompt sites, or indeed anywhere in public. Someone would write it, and I cannot face being responsible for that evil.
21. I will not build a steampunk lava lamp.
22. I will not run a campaign for my election to any major national office. This goes double for countries I am not a citizen of.
23. I will not thumb-wrestle a squid.
24. The project to combine the DNA of giardia and purple loosestrife is to be tabled indefinitely.
25. I will not ghostwrite my children's memoirs.
26. I will not sew a hot-air balloon in the shape of the silhouette of Jane Austen.
27. I will not divert the Mississippi River into my state.
28. Spinning polyester stuffing may be done once to see what happens, but sweater quantities are right out.
29. I will not catapult opossums.
30. I will not leave beets soaking in water in my fridge for a month until they turn moldy and then attempt to convince people that I am growing organs.
31. I will refrain from selling oddly-shaped crepes to Cthulu worshippers.
32. I will not translate any Elizabeth Gaskell novel into Quenya.
33. I will not have "Ash nazg durbatulûk" engraved on the inside of my wedding ring. (Though if I still have the ring from my first marriage somewhere....)
34. I will not acquire any endangered species as a household pet.
35. I will not Rickroll an ebook. (At least, not one published by my employer.)
36. I will not give up chocolate, unless allergy or other health issue makes it necessary.
37. I will not drink more than one gallon/four liters of ice tea in any one-hour period.
38. I will not learn to waterski while pulled along by a team of penguins.
39. I will not chop a hole through my office roof, place a giant rock on top of my desk, and claim that I was the victim of a meteor strike.
40. I will not get a tattoo of Chinese characters that say "I was not paid enough to make this tattoo."
41. Although the concept has been a running joke among several of my friends for years, I will not learn how to make a beef margarita.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-08-30 07:39 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-08-30 04:55 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-08-30 06:21 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-08-31 09:46 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-09-01 03:51 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-09-01 03:44 am (UTC)committing evil using iTunes... well, someone has to.
and as for #20, I laughed out loud and then I cringed.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-09-01 03:52 am (UTC)And yes, you know exactly what I refer to with #20.