fanfic meme

[castiron]

Via half my friendslist; I think I saw it on tweedisgood's journal first.

Pick any passage of 500 words or less from any fanfic I’ve written, and comment to this post with that selection. I will then give you the equivalent of a DVD commentary on that snippet: what I was thinking when I wrote it, why I wrote it in the first place, what’s going on in the character’s heads, why I chose certain words, what this moment means in the context of the rest of the fic, lots of awful puns, and anything else that you’d expect to find on a DVD commentary track.

My fanfic at AO3

Comments

[legionseagle]

This bit:

John and I had been working all week with the Yard on another trafficking case and had finally solved it, far more successfully than the case involving the unfortunate Kratides family; our reward to ourselves was sixteen hours of sleep each. It ended up being only eight for me; I have difficulty sleeping much past dawn. While I waited for John to awaken, I was using his laptop to look up the flight speed of a South African Swallow—yes, I am aware that there is a related popular culture reference, but I actually needed to make the calculation before posting on one of the ornithology forums—when I found a file titled "Sherlock Holmes Strengths + Weaknesses".

Would you have been able to resist? I certainly could not.

Most of the list, I found quite accurate. Of course I am an expert on anatomy, particularly human and psittacid. Of course I am good at basic physics, simple engineering, and elementary electrical circuits. Of course I have extensive knowledge of Western classical music, encyclopedic knowledge of Turkish pop music of the past twenty-five years, and very limited knowledge of most other music—who introduced me to music, after all, and why should anyone be surprised that I share his tastes? Of course I know a great deal about the British and European governments and the various people within; again, with whom did I live for most of my life? Of course I have a map of London in my mind; of course I can identify buildings by their roofs and outdoor sculpture. Of course I am deeply familiar with criminal procedure and the rules on collection of evidence. Of course I am a tolerable programmer and a decent hacker. Of course I have to make an effort to follow the various human social norms one finds in London. Of course I can read six and type five languages fluently, and read eight more with the help of a dictionary, even though I only understand three spoken. Of course I enjoy reading and dislike film and television. Of course I am sometimes loud, and easily bored, and cross when short on sleep, and occasionally picky about my food, and extremely untidy.

But "suffers from Stockholm Syndrome"? Please. The present circumstance excepted, Mycroft does not hold me hostage. I do not empathize with Mycroft or view him as my source of life; I tolerate him because I must. My top three desires at this moment are John's life, Moriarty's death, and Mycroft's public humiliation, in that order; does that sound like Stockholm Syndrome?

So when John finally descended the staircase early in the afternoon, I immediately texted, *Stockholm Syndrome is a far rarer disorder than popular literature would have one believe, and in any case, I do not have it.*

"Are you on my laptop again? What's wrong with yours this time?"

*Just a kernel panic; I've rewritten the offending code and am still reinstalling.*

"And you wonder why I won't let you upgrade mine." He went to the kitchen and started making tea.

*Why do you think I have Stockholm Syndrome?*

He rubbed his eyes. "Sherlock, it's too early in the morning."

*It is 1:47 p.m. Shall I forward you the formal definition and note exactly how I do NOT meet each condition?*

"If that's the worst thing you've found while snooping on my laptop, be grateful."

fun with sentient parrots!

[castiron]

Fun with parrot!Sherlock!

John and I had been working all week with the Yard on another trafficking case and had finally solved it, far more successfully than the case involving the unfortunate Kratides family. The Kratides case, appearing earlier in the story, is from "The Greek Interpreter". A bit later in the story, we'll find that the criminals in this other trafficking case are named Ricoletti -- reference to the unwritten case of the club-footed Ricoletti and his abominable wife. our reward to ourselves was sixteen hours of sleep each. It ended up being only eight for me; I have difficulty sleeping much past dawn. While I waited for John to awaken, I was using his laptop to look up the flight speed of a South African Swallow—yes, I am aware that there is a related popular culture reference, "African or European?" Sherlock has never actually seen any Monty Python, but no one can resist quoting it around him; Lestrade's team at the Met is responsible for his knowledge of the Parrot Sketch. but I actually needed to make the calculation before posting on one of the ornithology forums Sherlock spends a lot of time talking with birders and ornithologists online; he enjoys giving the insider view on bird behavior (without revealing that he's a bird; he's well aware that he's a top secret project)—when I found a file titled "Sherlock Holmes Strengths + Weaknesses". Referring, of course, to the "Sherlock Holmes - his limits" list from A Study in Scarlet.

Would you have been able to resist? Not a question to the reader. The framing device of this story is Sherlock talking to a therapist; we're seeing Sherlock's typed input throughout, but Dr. Hunter's responses are lost to history. (She's named for Violet Hunter from "The Copper Beeches", by the way.) I certainly could not.

Most of the list, I found quite accurate. Of course I am an expert on anatomy, particularly human and psittacid. Like his other incarnations, Sherlock is not modest. Of course I am good at basic physics, simple engineering, and elementary electrical circuits. The electrical circuits are my half-assed handwave to indicate that Sherlock's later ability to rewire a PA system for his own purposes isn't entirely out of the blue. Of course I have extensive knowledge of Western classical music, encyclopedic knowledge of Turkish pop music of the past twenty-five years, and very limited knowledge of most other music—who introduced me to music, after all, and why should anyone be surprised that I share his tastes? Mycroft's deep dark secret. Earlier in the story, Sherlock coerces Mycroft into allowing him internet access by threatening to reveal an event from 17 April 2005. While the event is never specified, and the reader is welcome to imagine something salacious, I suspect it simply involves Mycroft, a Tarkan CD, and a large amount of alcohol. Of course I know a great deal about the British and European governments and the various people within; again, with whom did I live for most of my life? Sherlock thinks of himself as a security liability due to his genome, but his knowledge of a generation of politicians and many secrets thereof would be a bigger concern to many, if they actually knew about him. Of course I have a map of London in my mind; of course I can identify buildings by their roofs and outdoor sculpture. Bird's-eye view, literally. Sherlock loves Google Maps. Of course I am deeply familiar with criminal procedure and the rules on collection of evidence. Of course I am a tolerable programmer and a decent hacker. Of course I have to make an effort to follow the various human social norms one finds in London. Conversations I'd love to overhear: Sherlock and a sociologist. Of course I can read six and type five languages fluently, and read eight more with the help of a dictionary, even though I only understand three spoken. I can't remember for certain now, but I think the spoken languages were English, French, and Turkish; the languages he could type were those plus German and Hungarian; and the ones he could read fluently were those plus Chinese. (With his visual memory, learning Chinese characters was easy; he hasn't bothered to memorize the Unicode equivalents, though.) No idea on the other eight, but Latin, ancient Greek, Spanish, and Finnish are almost certainly among them. He's only counting human languages here, by the way; he's also able to understand the communications of several bird species. Of course I enjoy reading and dislike film and television. Sherlock's eyes are just sensitive enough that the refresh rate on TVs bothers him, though computer text doesn't annoy him as much. Of course I am sometimes loud, and easily bored, and cross when short on sleep, and occasionally picky about my food, and extremely untidy. Come on, he's a parrot.

But "suffers from Stockholm Syndrome"? Please. The present circumstance excepted, Mycroft does not hold me hostage. I do not empathize with Mycroft or view him as my source of life; I tolerate him because I must. My top three desires at this moment are John's life, Moriarty's death, and Mycroft's public humiliation, in that order; does that sound like Stockholm Syndrome?

One of the ongoing sources of tension in Sherlock and John's relationship is Sherlock's relationship to Mycroft. Sherlock is well aware that he has no legal rights and that he is Mycroft's property; while Mycroft gives him quite a bit of leeway to live his life as he wishes, Sherlock knows that his independence could be cut off at Mycroft's discretion. He's generally come to terms with this; he doesn't like it, but he sees Mycroft's ownership as the least bad of currently available options. And as much as both of them hate to admit it, they were very close for a number of years; Sherlock actually greatly admires Mycroft's mind and would've been perfectly happy to spend his life as Mycroft's bird, if Mycroft had been willing to admit to having any attachment to him.

John, on the other hand, sees Sherlock as a person who just happens to be in a non-standard container, and it deeply bothers him that Sherlock isn't treated like a person, with all the rights pertaining thereto. (Your own "The Four-Paw Problem" was definitely an influence on my views of the the John-parrot!Sherlock relationship.) John also didn't hit it off any better with Mycroft than he did in canon, and he doesn't have canon!John's knowledge that Mycroft is actually concerned about Sherlock (if utter crap at expressing said concern in a beneficial way). Intellectually he understands that yes, Sherlock is a bird which belongs to Mycroft; emotionally, he can't understand why Sherlock doesn't just tell Mycroft to go to hell. In general, he tries to offer Sherlock options for more independence from Mycroft, though on occasion he puts his foot in it....

It's not a coincidence, by the way, that the leadup to their discussion here is the aftermath of a human trafficking case.

So when John finally descended the staircase early in the afternoon, I immediately texted, *Stockholm Syndrome is a far rarer disorder than popular literature would have one believe, and in any case, I do not have it.*

"Are you on my laptop again? What's wrong with yours this time?"
*Just a kernel panic i.e. the operating system just hit a major error and shut itself down; see also Blue Screen of Death; I've rewritten the offending code and am still reinstalling.* While Sherlock is not modest, in some cases his opinions of his abilities may be skewed due to the standards he measures himself against (in this case, Dennis Ritchie, co-creator of UNIX). He's able to do some pretty impressive things with programs; he can also create some really amazing bugs.

"And you wonder why I won't let you upgrade mine." As in canon, John tolerates a lot, but there are boundaries. Sherlock's hand-rolled *NIX installations: not going on John's computer. He went to the kitchen and started making tea.

*Why do you think I have Stockholm Syndrome?*

He rubbed his eyes. "Sherlock, it's too early in the morning."

*It is 1:47 p.m. Sherlock tends to take things literally, although he's capable of using figurative language. Shall I forward you the formal definition and note exactly how I do NOT meet each condition?*

"If that's the worst thing you've found while snooping on my laptop, be grateful." I can't remember whether I thought John had any particular files in mind; probably at most a file of "things I decided I really shouldn't post on my blog about my flatmate, even using a pseudonym".